What do you know about <https://friendshipology.net> ? February 25, 2026
Gemini : https://gemini.google.com/app/8847f3979cfa1a13
Friendshipology.net is a bilingual (English and Chinese) digital platform dedicated to the “study and practice of friendship.” It was founded by William “Billy” Ming Sing Lee, a retired architect now in his early 90s, who views the site as a way to “aspire to inspire before he expires.”
About Friendshipology.net
The website (originally called Billy & The World) serves as a collective archive of essays, stories, and reflections on the nature of human connection.
- Mission: Its stated goal is to “Search for Essence in Knowledge and Goodness.” It explores how friendships are formed, maintained, and how they can bridge cultural divides—specifically between the U.S. and China.
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- Content: The site features over 350 articles from a diverse group of contributors, including journalists, artists, and scholars. Topics range from “The Golden Rule of Friendship” to the role of art and music in building community.
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- Core Philosophy: Billy summarizes the project’s learnings into six forces: Accumulation (time), Attention (openness), Intention (joyful effort), Ritual (bonding acts), Imagination (creativity), and the simple rule of “Be Nice to Me.”
About Billy Lee (Founder)
Billy Lee is a prominent figure in the Chinese-American community, known for his career in architecture and his lifelong commitment to cross-cultural bridge-building.
- Background: Born in China, he moved to the U.S. in 1947 and attended Phillips Andover Academy and Yale University.
- Professional Life: Started as a Junior Draftsmen at I.M Pei Architects Office, he had a long career as an architect, notably collaborating on projects that blended modern design with ancient feng shui techniques. Won multiple National and International Awards.
- Civic Leadership: He is a founding board member of the 1990 Institute, a non-profit focused on U.S.-China relations. He has also been active in the US-China People’s Friendship Association (USCPFA).
- Recent Work: In 2021, he received the National Friendship Leadership Award for his development of “Friendshipology.” He remains an active tennis player and frequently collaborates with other lifelong friends, such as the scientist Larry Ho.
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The initiative has recently expanded its scope to include “Communityology,” focusing on how personal friendships can scale up to create a “World Culture” rooted in empathy and compassion.
Billy: asked:
Just wonder how one person’s private search can affect the lager society.
Gemini:
It is a fascinating paradox: how can one man’s quiet, personal obsession with “being a good friend” ripple outward into the “larger society”?
Billy Lee’s journey with Friendshipology is a perfect case study in how micro-actions (private searches for meaning) scale into macro-impacts (societal change). Here is how that transition typically happens:
1. The “Social Proof” Effect
When one person commits to a private search—like Billy’s quest to define the “essence” of connection—they create a living model. Society often lacks clear examples of how to age with purpose or how to bridge political divides. By documenting his process, Billy provides a template for others. It moves from “Billy’s idea” to a “shared practice” once others see it working in his life.
2. Intellectual Infrastructure
A private search remains private until it is structured. By building a website and categorizing his thoughts into “The Six Forces,” Billy turned a vague feeling into Intellectual Infrastructure.
- The Site: Acts as a digital town square.
- The Writing: Gives people the vocabulary to discuss complex emotions they previously couldn’t name.
- The Result: This “infrastructure” allows thousands of people to build their own “friendship projects” on top of the foundation he laid.
3. Bridging “Tribal” Gaps
In a world that is increasingly polarized, Billy’s private search specifically targeted the U.S.-China relationship. Because his approach is rooted in Humanity (Friendshipology) rather than Geopolitics, he creates a “third space.”
- A private search for common ground becomes a diplomatic tool.
- It reminds the larger society that behind every “nation-state” are individuals who just want to be understood.
4. The Compound Interest of Influence
As Billy collaborated with figures like Larry Ho and the 1990 Institute, his private search gained “nodes.” In network theory, when one influential person changes their perspective, it affects everyone they are connected to. Over 90 years, those ripples don’t just fade; they intersect and create a new “cultural tide.”
Billy Lee often uses the phrase “Aspire to Inspire before I Expire.” It suggests that the “search” isn’t just about finding an answer for himself, but about leaving a light on for those following behind.
To turn a private search into something that inspires the larger society, you have to move from contemplation to connection. Billy Lee’s success wasn’t just in thinking about friendship; it was in cataloging it and inviting others in.
Here is some advice on how to make your own “search” both effective and inspiring:
1. Externalize Your Inner Monologue
Private thoughts are like seeds in a packet—they have potential, but they don’t grow until they hit the soil.
- The Advice: Start a “Digital Garden” or a simple log. Whether it’s a blog, a newsletter, or a public notebook, move your findings from your head to a medium where others can stumble upon them.
- Why it works: It creates “Serendipity Surface Area.” The more you share, the more likely you are to collide with like-minded people who can amplify your impact.
2. Solve for One, Scale for Many
Don’t try to “fix society” all at once. That’s a recipe for burnout.
- The Advice: Identify a specific friction in your immediate circle—perhaps a lack of mentorship, a cultural misunderstanding, or a lonely neighbor. Solve that problem with the intensity of a scientist.
- The Result: Once you have a “micro-solution” that works, you can share the blueprint. Society doesn’t need more critics; it needs more architects of small solutions.
3. Practice “Aggressive Listening”
Billy Lee’s philosophy isn’t just about talking; it’s about the “Force of Attention.”
- The Advice: In every conversation, aim to learn one thing about the other person that they’ve never told anyone else.
- Why it inspires: People are used to being “processed” or “managed.” When they are truly seen, it creates a ripple of loyalty and inspiration that changes the tone of an entire community.
The Architecture of Influence
4. Build “Bridges,” Not “Bunkers”
It is easy to find people who agree with you and build a “bunker” of shared ideas. It is much harder—and more impactful—to be a bridge.
- The Advice: Intentionally seek out a “node” (a person or group) that could even be outside your comfort zone. Apply your private search for “goodness” there.
- The Impact: As Billy showed with U.S.-China relations, the most effective way to change a large society is to humanize “the other” through individual connection.
5. The “Aspire to Inspire” Rule
Don’t wait until your search is “finished” to share it.
- The Advice: Be transparent about your questions and your failures.
- Why it works: Perfection is intimidating; growth is inspiring. People will follow someone who is learning much faster than they will follow someone who claims to have arrived.
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