Proposal To Connect Our Children

By  Billy Lee, March 2004

This is an opportune time to encourage more interconnecting between our Children from China and the U.S. There is obviously huge interest by the parents and teachers of two groups of U.S. middle school students who will be visiting China with me this April and May. Other schools which hear about such opportunities surely want to learn how this can be arranged for them too.

Much needed is a systematic way for those interested to find ways to connect. The 1990 Institute would like to help establish such a “mechanism”  We need help from our friends from both countries.

It seems obvious that at both ends of the Pacific, we need to identify organizations with national net works to serve as Facilitators – to make introductions or match ups for interested schools or groups.  Once a link is made, the schools themselves should be able to work out the specific arrangements.

This system should start of slowly and expand or improve naturally. We foresee, however, that eventually there will be thousands and thousands of groups of young children making cultural visits in both directions. The goal is to bridge friendship and understanding among children at an early age. The 1990 Institute will first focus on middle-school students’ common interest in Art and Environment.

At the onset, an enlightened Facilitator most likely needs to employ one additional staff member- a bilingual college graduate- to make introductions for the interested schools.  A small fee can be charged for each introduction after some proven success.  The 1990 Institute will try to raise the necessary funds to support this new hire.  That amount will not be too great.

This experiment can be explored for a year or two. It can be terminated afterwards or continued.  The 1990 Institute holds a positive and optimistic vision.



AN URGENT IDEA FOR THE SCHWARZMAN SCHOLARS PROGRAM AT TSINGHUA

By Billy Lee, November 2016

Very recently, the Charlie Rose’s TV Program interviewed a Mr. Stephen A. Schwarzman who had contributed generously towards the new Schwarzman Scholars’ College at Tsinghua University in Beijing. Their goal was to allow approximately 200 specially selected college graduates from around the world ( 40% from US, 20% from China, and the other 40% from the rest of the world ) to spend one year together at Tsinghua University to learn about China, and to build powerful personal connections.

This is truly an unusual opportunity for these ultra-bright potential future global leaders. I urgently recommend, however, that the special curriculum should include not just informative lectures but also engaging workshops and participation in different situations that will inspire Real Empathy and True Compassion for our Globally-Connected Community.

I have been conversing recently with two very enlightening social-psychologists who have developed a CST (Compassion Skills Training) Model. They would love to work with experts from China to expand their model and make it relevant to the Eastern Culture as well.

I hope, indeed, that the Schwarzman Scholars Curriculum will seriously consider including such a well developed CST program. 

‘Heart’ without ‘Intelligence and Power’ is ineffective. ‘Intelligence and Power’ without ‘Heart’ can be dangerous. Ideal leaders should have all three: Compassion, Intelligence and Power. It’s imperative to develop this concept at Schwarzman-Tsinghua University, I believe.

Billy’s Talk at 1990’s Annual Dinner – Children’s Art & Environment Project

By Billy Lee, May 30th, 2003

You know, at every major event, the early presentations are not that important. Usually people arrive late and intentionally skip them. But ah ha, tonight, I have you sandwiched between Dinner and the Main Event so you are trapped.

The so called 1990 Institute’s US- China Children’s Art and Environment Project is a simple Two-Phase Project – started two years ago.

First Phase: The 1990 with CEEC-SEPA and CNCC were to conduct a children’s art contest in China-on the subject of Environment.

Second Phase: 100 best drawings to be brought to the United States and exhibited around this country for 2 years.

The Goal was to use Art as vehicle to Educate and to Increase Awareness of Environmental Concerns important to the Children from both countries. During the process we hope that the our children will develop a global perspective and enjoy building Trust, Goodwill, and Friendship.

So far the First Phase has been amazingly successful.    Last October we had a Opening Awards Celebration at the CNCC in Beijing. Honorary Co-Chairs Mrs Sarah Randt ( wife of US Amb to China ), Minister Xie  (SEPA), Mme. Gu (ACWF) and many other dignitaries were present with hundreds of children and family members. The event was covered by National TV, newspapers and all types of magazines.   There, we have engaged supposedly one million some children from one thousand plus different locations in China, challenged thousands of teachers, pulled along  maybe another 3 million parents, grandparents and relatives, involved a few very influential government leaders, touched a huge populated Public, and made deeper bonds with colleagues at CEEC-SEPA and CNCC – with whom we will likely collaborate on future projects.

The final selected 100 drawings are Awesome, commented several of my friends.  David  McCullough, my Yale class-mate, and twice pulitzer- price winner for his bios on Truman and John Adams was an Honorary Advisor to our project.  He wrote to me after he received a copy of the Booklet on the children’s art: “ Billy, You must be very proud of the way the exhibit turned out.  The catalogue is just beautiful, and interesting in a way that very few such collections of children’s art rarely are.  It’s the theme that is so compelling and the immense variety of expression.  Good for you, Old Friend.”   Here, I need to thank Jiong Ma who carefully coordinated the design of booklet with our colleagues in China.   Thanks, Jiong !

Eighty drawings are now being exhibited ( from April to July 27th) at the beautiful Coyote Pt. Museum for Environmental Education in S.M.- near S.F. Airport Blvd.   It will travel to New Canaan Nature Center and New Canaan Library in Sept.and Oct..   From Nov. to Feb. ’04, it will be shown at Bishop Museum in Honolulu.  Houston Children’s Museum now wants it for May to August in 2005. I am still working on various possibilities for the period in between. Ah! Gil Grosvenor, Chairman of NGS ( played Soccer with me at Yale) has just referred me to their Exhib Director. Hopefully, we will have a Venue in Wash. D.C., and I sure like to  involve Laura Bush and the Amb. and Mrs.Yang JieChi  at the D.C. Opening Ceremony.

So how well is this Second Phase going so far. The Exhibits in the U.S.?

Pat Koblenz, Edu. Dir. did a fantastic job with the Inaugural Exhibit at he Coyote Pt, Museum on April 5.  She invited many local organizations and personalities to get involved:  The SSMC EDU. T.F., Kollage Community Center for the Arts, Art Share, Recycle Works of SMC, and local children’s music and dance groups.   SMC Supervisor Jerry Hill and the PRC’s Gen. Consul Amb. Wang YX, Consul Hong Lei, and Vice Consul Wang Qiang all enthusiastically participated.      Betsie Hennings ( Exec. Direc) wrote me recently and claimed that she had noticed an increase in Museum attendance already. That’s a Real Good Sign!

Many peripheral activities have also sprung up: Richard Sperisen, coordinator of Arts Education and School Bldg. Designs at SMC Office of Education took 20 from the 100 drawings  and created an attractive mini exhibit which is touring the various schools within SM county. He reported interesting discussions between students and teachers.  Now, that is the reaction we hoped to stir up.

SMC Recycle Works asked if we can arrange for U.S. Children’s Art to travel in China. They are also considering the use of one of the Chinese Children’s drawings for the cover of their Green Building Magazine.

Right now, The New Canaan Nature Center and  Library in Conn, is getting ready to host the exhibit this Sept. and Oct.  They told me they have created a slogan: Thru the Eyes of a Child, We Wonder of Other Cultures, Delight in Differences, Share Passion.

They are going to publicize this event in local newspapers and in The New York Times.  They have gotten OCA of Fairfield County involved- and also a group called Families with Children from China (FCC). One of the FCC members, Ron Lewis is a well know artist, and he may conduct a special workshop on the Opening Day. Children’ Choir from West School will also perform, they told me.

I am planning to go there and round up 30 some Yale and Andover Classmates in the vicinity to join me for a mini reunion.  I may have to entertain them, however, with my song “The Scream” which some of you heard me yelled at the Coyote Pt. Museum Opening.

I expect wonderful things to happen at each of the eight to ten venues we are planning to have. Things are snowballing.  In order to catch and sustain this momentum our committee has created an inter-connecting Website www.e-planet.org   It is now in a rudimentary stage, but we plan to further develop it, refine it and definitely provide a bilingual capability soon. It will have galleries to show children’s and adults’ art works, forum to provide discussions, special news on Art or Environment, and a reference resource  that teachers would appreciate. This actually has become our Project Phase Three.

As I review the status so far,  I see that we have indeed built an attractive Bridge- many thanks to Jim Caldwell, Jiong Ma, and Rebecca Zhou.   But the Inter-connecting Website is only a bridge. We need to give much more thoughts on to attract children and and adults from both sides to get on it, 3 more thoughts on what kind of traffic we should encourage on it, and how to make the traffic move to and fro smoothly, efficiently, and joyously. What other things we need to do to create bonding?  Get the children to visit each other?

I am now in the process of forming a Creative Advisory Committee for this Inter-connecting website development.  It should involve enlightened people in Education, Art , Environment, Communications, Media, Poetry, story-telling, psychology, science, and some Out-of-the-box wild ideas. Our Project success will be measured not just by the width of its extension, and the volume of traffic, but  by the depth of its impact on everyone touched in different ways during the process. The important questions are: What kind of impacts and how can they be sustained ?

What does all this have to do with International Relations?  Remember Dr. Bill Fuller’s talk last year about the Importance of Public Perception in shaping Foreign Policies. I think this project can build better understanding. But more importantly we need to plant seeds to grow Trust and Goodwill.

In conclusion, I  like to thank all of you I call Angels who have given this Project time, labor, contribution, advice, or just moral support.  The back of the sheet on your table acknowledges many generous contributors, I really want to thank again those volunteers and committee members who selflessly gave their valuable time, energy and creative input. Earlier I wrote an article on Eight Very Special Angels, which three relatives helped translate  into Chinese.  I really should write another article at the end of this Project.  It will probably be titled “My One Thousand Special Angels” 

At Kepler’s Children Books Section last week I found a verse by a Persian Poet 1207-1273 Jald Ud Din Rumi. Titled: The Face of That Angel I have modified it a bit and made it :

The Faces of These Angels
The Faces of these Angels
Landed  in my heart
Is there anyone as lucky as I
And as Happy too,  I may ask ?
I hear about words difficult and impossible
But my heart truly does not know what they are

Thank you very much for indulging with my Bula Bula !

My More Than 65 Years of HomeStays In America ‘HOME STAYS’ Build Amazing Cross-cultural Friendships 寄宿家庭培育跨文化友谊

By Billy Lee,September 2018

April 2012, Women of China Magazine, a publication in English by ACWF – All China Women’s Federation, included an article I wrotetitled ‘HOME STAYS – Building Amazing Cross-cultural Friendship’. I mentioned in that article that Stanford Alumni Magazine revealed that my Menlo Park neighbors, Mr.and Mrs Robert King had made an amazing donation of 150 million US dollars to Stanford Business School to come up with ideas to assist poor developing countries. It also stated that the Kings were inspired by 4 decades of Homestays they had provided to some wonderful foreign students who came to study at Stanford.

I was greatly moved and was also surprised that the providers of Homestays could be so inspired while I, as a foreign student on the receiving end, could only understand the feeling of Gratefulness. Home Stays build amazing cross-cultural friendships, indeed.

In this article, I want to remember many encounters I had experienced with American Families and members who have become my most enduring friends. I decided that the title should be ‘ My More Than 65 Years of HomeStays in America.’

I was only 14 ½ years old when I was sent to America from Shanghai to pursue a Western education. My father entrusted my older brother and me to his Amherst room-mates, President Charles Cole of Amherst College and Kenneth Higgins, a successful Private Investment Banker in Worcester, Mass.. We were to stay with the Higgins Family – consisting of Uncle Kenneth, Aunt Poly, and their two sons Billy and Dickie – one year and two years younger than me.

I remember best the Winter holidays we spent at their hillside Colonial Style home at Drury Lane. Uncle Kenneth took us to practice football in a neighborhood park.Dickie in football gears tackled me with full speed and I was knocked almost unconscious. Another time we went skating at a pond, and the neighboring girls were screaming in delight when they saw me on skates my very first time.I actually stood up and started wiggling around but not knowing how to stop. One time we were playing pool in the basement, I missed an easy shoot and started to swear “Jesus“ which I learned from some friends at Andover. As Catholics, the Higgins taught me that was not a nice expression. So ever since I started yelling “Geewhiz” instead .

Uncle Kenneth and Aunt Polly were devote Catholics but they never pushed their religion on me and my brother. They did introduce us to Santa, however. Santa was a jolly old fellow who brought us each wonderful gifts on Christmas Eves.

I went to a summer camp in New Hampshire with Billy and  against the Grey. Billy was captain one year as he excelled in swimming and riflery. Dickie excelled in swimming and baseball. To my surprise I was the fastest runner in Track and I won the seniors tennis tournament by my amazing defense. I hardly had any winning shots but won finally by the opponents’ own mistakes. The Higgins Brothers and the Lee Brothers enjoyed a very natural bond,indeed. We have shared both laughs and tears as we grew up together.

During the four years at Phillips Academy Andover, I remember special kindness from the following people. First, my freshman year housemaster, Harold Howe III, who became Secretary of Education in President Johnson’s administration. He and Mrs. Howe took us foreign students who were left on campus during holidays, to go climb Mt. Washington, the highest peak in New Hampshire. Home Stay in the mountains with the Howes was my first and most exhilarating encounter with Big Nature.

The second very kind person was my Andover dorm mate, Gordon Hammond, who not only helped me in my studies, but also invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family in New Hampshire. I believe that his mother, two younger sisters and younger brother had never shook hands with a Chinese before. Nevertheless, they all embraced me with much affection as well as curiosity. Gordon’s family was not well-to-do. Mrs. Hammond, a single mother with four young children, had to work as a nanny for a wealthy family, but the Hammonds extended me great warmth and joy instead of special materialistic treats. I especially enjoyed playing in the haystacks with the Hammond kids, and I even enjoyed the smell of fermenting apple cider in the jars covering almost half of their porch. I still correspond with Gordon and his sister Paula every now and then. We hope to have a reunion in the not too distant future.

The third person was none other than my roommate, Doug Adkins,  during the final two years at PA. He had also invited me to his home in New Jersey several times. His brother Win was also in our class of PA’51. While I was the Captain of the Varsity Soccer Team, Doug served as the team’s Manager. We also worked together as student waiters at the Commons – another name for dinning hall. We were privileged to bring extra milk and buns back to our dorm. Doug always seemed to be hungry as he kept himself occupied with many self-invented extra-curricular activities.

The forth party was in fact two persons, Bill and John Wright. Bill was a year ahead of me and John one year behind. Their father was Governor Wright whose family owned a huge property in Deeth Nevada. For several years they had invited three to four Andover students each summer to go work on their Ranch and experience briefly a rough and tough Western Cowboy-style living. Steve Yamamoto from Tokyo, Japan and I from Shanghai, China were invited to share this Home Stay on The Ranch that summer just after our graduation. It was a hot summer with lots of Steaks for supper. Many co-workers were outlaws and escapees. I learned more variations of swear words and swearing expressions which I knew my Uncle Kenneth would not approve. They were uttered constantly by the Ranch Supervisor’s 12-year old son who was already allowed to drive a truck and to give tractor driving lessons to us foreign students from the East-coast private school. Most exciting was to hear about the sojourns to the brothels told by couple of these tough ranchers who could bend one-inch-diameter iron rods by their two bare hands.

Three families stood out during my years at Yale. Art Kramer who was my Freshman Counselor had a truly kind and caring heart. As did Mr. Arthur Howe III at Andover, Art – not yet married at that time – invited me to visit his home in Washington D.C. where I met his parents and his younger brother Larry who is now well known for championing Lesbian and Gay causes. Many years later Art and his wife Alice had a beautiful house built near New Cannon Connecticut. He again invited me to have HomeStay with them. The weekend included a friendly tennis game on their private tennis court.

The second family who embraced me most warmly in New Haven was the John Q. Tilsons. Indeed, Congressman Tilson and Mrs. Tilson were god parents to my Uncle Smilie Chang who studied at Yale College and later married my father’s no. one younger sister when he returned to Shanghai. I was to address the elder Tilsons Grand Pa and Grand Ma Tilson. They invited me to their home for dinner or Sunday Family gatherings many times.In fact thru the Tilsons, Senator Prescott Bush from Connecticut helped me obtain my immigration status via the special Refugee Relief Act. I am deeply indebted to the Tilsons and the Bushes, and I have voted for the Bushes for Presidents mostly out of gratitude. Indeed, my number- one-son Prescott was named after Senator Prescott Bush – George Herbert Bush’s father, George W. Bush’s Grandpa.

The third family I hold most dearly in my heart is the Gregg Family from Darien, Connecticut. David Gregg III seeked me out among others to be his future roommate at Pierson College after our Freshman Year. We were both on the Yale Varsity Soccer Team and David already knew that he wanted to study International Business and Diplomacy. Mrs. Gregg, whom I later addressed as Virginia, seemed to care for me more than my own mother. She had David invite me to the Debutant Balls at Plaza Hotel in New York City couple of times. They got a tux for me, fixed me up with cheerful blind dates and taught me all the Etiquettes. Knowing that I was going to study Architecture, they invited me to stay with them in Darien during the summer and arranged for me to work for a local building contractor to gain actual experience. Years later when I started my professional architecture practice, I got my fist commission to design a vacation complex on St. John’s Island in the Caribbean where several of Mr. and Mrs. Gregg’s friends from Darien and New Cannon had just purchased a beautiful piece of property. Mr. David Gregg II, Virginia, and David III are all in Heaven now. I still connect with David’s Wife Sarah, his brother Arthur, and his daughter Tina regularly.

Home Stay Invitations were offered most frequently when I did not have a home of my own. After marriage I had only occasional HomeStays when I traveled to far away cities. I remember staying over at Pete Acker’s home in Akron, Ohio when I was going to make an architectural presentation to the Higbee Co. Chairman in Cleveland for Lawrence Halprins’ Environmental Planning Firm. Pete and I hadn’t seen each other for years after we graduated from Andover. We both remembered fondly Mr. Harold Howe III’s European History Course. Pete got an A, and I a C-. We both laughed when he remembered that I received the ‘Most Improvement Prize’ at graduation.

I was offered HomeStay by George Webb in Darien Connecticut when I told him about the ‘ Chinese Children’s Art on The Environment’ exhibit which I persuaded the New Cannan Library and The Nature Center to co-sponsor in New Cannan. George was a year ahead of me at Andover, and he later became a Founder of a top executive recruit firm in N.Y. City, after his graduation from Princeton. George and his wife Jean treated me royally, but most importantly we were really grateful for the opportunity to get together and to chat about old times. Again we got acquainted thru soccer. George was a fantastic and amazingly courageous goal-tender. On this occasion, however, I tried to learn from him the art in evaluating potential executives.

One of my most trusted friends was indeed John Howson, Captain of our Yale 1955 soccer team. He played right half-back, while I played left wing, so we were always testing each other during practice. John was a methodical person, and in fact became a highly respected patent lawyer. He was very thoughtful and meticulous, and soon after he and Mary got married, he asked me to design their home in Chappaqua New York, a suburb of New York City. If was truly laborious working for me as he wanted me to explain every minute detail in the design, and then he would translate every bit to Mary, his most gentle and attentive wife.

But after the house was constructed, he loved it so much he stayed in that same house until he passed away last year. I can not forget that three years ago, when he learned that I was going to pass by N.Y.C. on my way to my 60th Andover Reunion, he offered me Home Stay for a few days in his house which I designed for his family almost 50 year ago. They thanked me profusely for the joy their family including three grown children shared in that modern-colonial house. They told me that all the rooms had experienced no changes except paint colors or decorative wall papers. Only the kitchen was refurbished with more modern cooking stoves and a more energy saving refrigerator. Mary was so proud that John had taken up culinary art and wine savoring. In fact John put on his puffed-up white cooking hat and prepared a fantastic sirloin steak for us. It was the best I have ever had. I was treated as a special guest but then they also treated me as their own brother. Such are the feelings only Home Stays can generate. I feel grateful that I have so many wonderful American Friends who generously offer me HomeStays everywhere I travel.

I feel my entire – more than 65 years – life in America can be defined by this series Of Beautiful HomeStays. I am so grateful for having so many wonderful friends. I am 100% convinced that HomeStay Is A Beautiful Way To Build Amazing Cross-cultural Friendships.

Can Retired Grand-Parents Still Contribute To Society?

by Billy Lee – 李名信

I am a 86 year-old retired Architect – long retired from my professional practice and quite a few years retired from my volunteer work at The 1990 Institute in America.  Physically feebler, mentally slower, but aspiration-wise I still hope to be able to contribute to our constantly changing world. What can I realistically do, I wondered?

This morning, a light bulb flashed in my head, and I quickly dashed out an email to my dear Phillips Academy prep-school classmate, George Rider, who is also our Class Secretary at Andover Alumni News. I wrote:

Dear George, I have an idea for our classmates to ponder. Can we as Grandparents leave one or two truly memorable words to our grand-children before we pass? If so what words would each of us choose? This could be an interesting survey to share. Cheers always,
Billy – Ming Sing
PA’51 YC’55

Actually, I have observed for quite some time now that at our frequent family gatherings – always include many grand children and younger relatives – I have become a much more quiet and passive participant.  Although when opportunities arise I can still tell a few brief humorous stories to entertain the younger members.

As a Family Figurehead, I see myself now in a similar role as Queen Elizabeth’s of Britain – an antiquated symbol, but still with great opportunity to wield Influence over her subjects.  Gentleness, kindness, warmth, caringness, empathy, compassion, sensitivity, and sense of humor with dignity, and respectfulness are all important ingredients the Queen must continue to practice if she wishes her subjects to listen and emulate.  As a Grand-parent, I must do the same to win my grandchildren’s attention and to induce them to take seriously what “Two Words” I wish they will forever remember.

BTW, after much deliberation, I changed my “Two Words” for my grandchildren to “Four”: “Be Kind and Smart” instead of just “ Be Kind” or just “ Be Smart “. Of course, what words we choose to leave to our grandchildren will depend on how old they are now and how much they are capable in comprehending.  Indeed, we may also decide to choose specific words for each specific grandchil.

You may be interested in the three very different and endearing grandchildren I am privileged to have: Alana, a 13 year old girl by my second son, is serene, studious, and perhaps a bit passive.  Gage (boy) and Lexi (girl), the 6 year old twins by my number one son, are surprisingly smart, but eager to show off, and rambunctious as a tag team– and laughing like crazy much of the time. The boy is more methodical. The girl is more intuitive.

We don’t see Alana as frequently as we see the twins, as she lives in Berkeley about one hour’s drive away from our home. When the family members get together around the dining table I always make sure that she gets an opportunity to tell everyone her latest encounters in school or at home.  She is still a bit shy, but she is definitely gaining social composure. To make up for our infrequent person to person contacts, we build our bonding by sending each other email attachments of special interests on timely occasions.

My wife, Lucille, babysits for the Twins at our home two evenings a week. The Twins come after school around 3pm and leaves after supper near 7pm.  They always have some idea or several ideas on what they want to experiment at our house –indeed their Play House.  They may do acrobatic exercises under the open-steps stairway. They may do drawings and paste them all over different doors. They may pull down all the cushions from the living room sofas and chairs to create their cave home – each time a different design – amazing!

Supper time is Conversation Time for them, since I accompany them and keep them occupied by telling them stories which I conveniently make up to fit the mood. Often I pump them with mini questions to test their knowledge or personal character. For example I would ask them who is kinder- Nai Nai or Yeh Yeh? I would ask them what can we do to make a cousin feel better after the cousin lost her I- phone?  What happens when we shift things around?- like their cushion habitats. Never too difficult are my questions, but always fun and getting more challenging. We all have a good time, and a Joyful relationship we build together.  It’s Fun for them because they get to quiz their Grandpa too!